


Meant To Be

by Robin Hood (kjack89)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Alternate Universe - His Dark Materials Fusion, Developing Relationship, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21517048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjack89/pseuds/Robin%20Hood
Summary: Right around the time Sonny realized he wanted to be a cop was when Fedele stopped changing, settling as a dog, and he figured this was just the life he was meant for.Like most police officer’s dæmons, Fedele was big, and ferocious-looking, a powerful brindle-colored pit bull. Which was good, because Sonny got a lot of grief at the academy for not being tough enough, and Fedele was enough to keep most of the worst bullies at bay. She was also enough for Sonny to hold onto at night when he needed strength and reassurance to keep going.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 19
Kudos: 123





	Meant To Be

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposting from tumblr before I forget about it.
> 
> From an ask where I was asked what I thought Rafael and Sonny's daemons would be, because I couldn't not.
> 
> Usual disclaimer. Please be kind and tip your fanfic writers in the form of comments and/or kudos!

When Sonny was little, he’d tell anyone who would listen that his dæmon, Fedele, would be something from the ocean. Fedele loved to turn into a porpoise and splash around in Arthur Kill or become a gull, flapping along the shore as Sonny chased after her, laughing all the while. His mother warned him against it. “You’re not meant for a life at sea, Sonny,” she would tell him, when she could get him to sit still long enough to listen. “And your dæmon should be a part of the life you’re meant for.”

And maybe there was something to that, because right around the time Sonny realized he wanted to be a cop was when Fedele stopped changing, settling as a dog, and he figured this was just the life he was meant for.

Like most police officer’s dæmons, Fedele was big, and ferocious-looking, a powerful brindle-colored pit bull. Which was good, because Sonny got a lot of grief at the academy for not being tough enough, and Fedele was enough to keep most of the worst bullies at bay. She was also enough for Sonny to hold onto at night when he needed strength and reassurance to keep going.

And she still loved running and playing in the water every chance they got.

He never had reason to doubt that she was the perfect fit for him until he decided he wanted to study law. The moment he walked into a law school classroom was like the academy all over again, but this time, everyone else’s dæmons were intelligent, or argumentative, or sharp, and his Fedele was too big and too simple.

Which maybe meant Sonny was, too.

Of course, he got his degree, and he passed the Bar, mostly because he had a stubborn streak a mile wide and didn’t know when to quit, but he didn’t make the move to being an attorney, his mother’s words from his child echoing in the back of his mind: your dæmon should be a part of the life he’s meant for, and maybe that meant he wasn’t meant to be a lawyer. Maybe he should just stay the course and stay a cop.

Which was why he hesitated, after Peter Stone left and Vanessa Hadid offered him an ADA position. 

“What do you think?” he asked Fedele as they sat down by the water after he had been offered the job and after he had told Hadid he needed to think about it.

Fedele scratched her ear for a moment before answering. “I think you should do what’ll make you happy.”

Sonny sighed. “I don’t know that being a lawyer will make me happy,” he admitted.

Fedele stood and stretched before padding over to him, wriggling her head underneath his arm until he laughed and let her crawl into his lap. “Maybe not,” she said, licking his cheek. “But when was the last time being a cop made you happy?”

He had to admit she had a point.

But there was still someone else he needed to ask, so he and Fedele took an anbaric tramcar to the Bronx, where Rafael Barba didn’t look at all surprised that Sonny Carisi had shown up on his doorstep.

Once inside, Sonny admitted everything, all his hesitations and doubts, Fedele’s head resting lightly on his knee as he spoke, and for his part, Barba mostly just listened. When Sonny was done, he shook his head slowly. “Well, I don’t know if it’ll help you decide what you want to do, but if it’ll make you feel better, I felt the same way.”

Sonny’s head jerked up and he stared at Barba, surprised. “Really?” he asked doubtfully.

Barba nodded. “Oh, yes,” he said. “I was 16, I had spent my entire life hoping to get out of the Bronx, to go study with the scholars at Harvard.”

“And you did,” Sonny pointed out.

“Yes, but I assumed that in order to do so, my dæmon needed to be big and bold and flashy. And instead, Pertinax settled as a starling.” The bird in question fluttered down to settled on Barba’s shoulder, and he smiled. “A starling, of all the things to be. A little bird with a big squawk.” He chuckled as she batted him lightly with her wings. “One of the most common of birds, and not at all what I had hoped for.”

“I suppose now is a bad time to tell you that you’ve been referred to as a little man with a loud voice,” Sonny said, trying not to laugh.

But Barba just smiled. “Not at all,” he answered honestly. “Because it’s true. And because, as far as I can tell, your dæmon isn’t a reflection of what you’re meant to do; it’s a reflection of who you’re meant to be.” He shrugged, and Pertinax flapped over to the windowsill. “I am a little man with a big squawk and knowing that, knowing that’s how people will see me, has let me use that to my advantage through the years.”

The sun peeked out from behind a cloud, bathing Pertinax and the windowsill in light, and Sonny marveled at the way colors seemed to emerge in her normally muted feathers, just like the pops of color Barba often wore with his suits in court.

“You will always be loyal and dependable and big-hearted,” Barba continued. “That’s what your dæmon shows. But that’s not a bad thing, and it certainly doesn’t mean you won’t be an incredible lawyer.” He paused and made a face. “If anything, it means you’ll be a better ADA than I ever was.”

There was something almost sad in his voice, but before Sonny could say anything — before he could fiercely protest that Barba had been the best ADA he’d ever worked with — Fedele let out a soft woof and padded over to Barba, hesitating for only a moment before setting her head down on Barba’s knee.

Sonny gasped at the touch, his eyes locking with Barba’s as they both stared at each other, lost in the indescribable feeling both shared, a feeling only amplified when Pertinax left the windowsill to perch lightly on Sonny’s shoulder. “Raf—” Sonny choked out, and Barba nodded, his voice soft as he answered, “I know.”

Sonny’s fingers trembled slightly as he almost reverently stroked the feathers on Pertinax’s back, and he didn’t have to look at Barba to know he was touching Fedele as well, because he could feel it as if Barba was touching him instead.

After a brief moment, Pertinax flapped her wings and took off, returning to Barba just as Fedele hurried back to Sonny, both dæmons seeming almost a little embarrassed at what had just happened. Sonny gathered Fedele to him, stroking her lightly where he knew Barba’s hands had been only moments before. “Why—?” he whispered, not quite able to get the full question out.

“Because,” she said simply. “He sees you. And you need him.”

He glanced at Barba, at the look of something like wonder on his face as Pertinax chirped something quietly in his ear, and he wondered if she was telling him the same thing Fedele told him.

He looked back down at Fedele, at her calm, dark eyes, and he finally felt like every piece of his life was falling into place. She was who he was meant to be, and this was where he was meant to be, and nothing else mattered. “Thank you,” he whispered.

She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to.

He knew anyway.


End file.
